Back to school

Hello Everyone,

Exam seasons are here, and I can't help but think back to school. I am not sure if i wrote about it earlier but I still want to write. About a regret that i still carry.

Mr. K.S Sabu was my English language teacher, (grammar or English I as you might know), he used to teach us the same subject since I began studying in that school, till i graduated from it 6 years later. Our relationship was a sour sweet one, but the biggest name that i carried out of school was him, and the biggest prize was a five rupee note signed by him. 

Initially, coming to this school was a big jump in my education history, I was a state board student till I moved here, where we were taught the Subject of English by translating it in Hindi. And as we have it, if English is not the language we feel comfortable with we develop kind of hatred towards it, and i was no different. 

With this planted seed of a little hatred, and a bag full of insecurities, I moved here. And this was a school, where they translated non-English subjects like Hindi and taught them in English. 

A total of 180 degrees of turn as you can imagine.

I barely passed my exams in this subject for the first four years of school. And Naturally, Sabu sir, as we called him, didn't like me at all, for being so consistent in not improving. Until I moved to 9th grade, semester 1. I scored about 51 or so in the subject out of 80, in English 1. And what I remember particularly was that my Essay was graded 14 out of 25, virtually the maximum that could be scored in it. I wrote a simple story without fuss, magic, or ghost that I earlier attempted to make interesting and scoring. Sabu sir praised me a little that day and respected me a lot more since then.

He also signed me a five rupees note writing "Take care of pennies and pounds would take care of themselves." 

I can't seem to let go of this phrase, an underconfident me gained so much with a little seldom-found respect I got in school before that, that I became a force to reckon with, I represented my school in so many competitions after that, and slowly turned into a popular figure. I graduated as one of the highest-scoring, and well-received students.

And I owe every bit of my school success to him, his faith in me helped me move mountains that I surrounded myself with. 

I wish, I could go back to him with the most valuable things I could get my hands to. Till I realize, i just can't.

He passed away fighting cancer, around the same time I lost my dad and a truckload of self-esteem. I was in the same city and I came to know that he was in the hospital, but still, I couldn't make it. My schoolmates who were in the city went and some also asked me to tag along but I just couldn't. I was drained, and I know that doesn't justify it. But I still hold my regrets.

Over the last few years, I wanted to go back to school and give them back the five rupee note that he gave me. I believe it belongs not just to me, but to many of us whose lives he transformed in ways that only he could. I also want to start a scholarship on his name to school, as my sign of respect and admiration for all his influences in my life. Hopefully, when I home, I can go back to the school and get these done. I am not sure if it helps him in any way now, but I till figure out better ways to pay my gratitude to my guiding light, this is the plan.